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You Might Be a Re-enactor if

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YOU MIGHT BE A RE‐ENACTOR IF

Someone holds the door for you in a mundane situation and as you pass through, you say “Thank you, my lord”.  Double points if you drop him a curtsey or bow slightly.

When some suggests freaking the mundanes, you not only understand what they mean, you’ve got some ideas of your own to add.  Double points if you have freaking stories to share.  Triple points if the freaking was accidental, because you feel so normal in garb.

You know how long a pole weapon will fit in your car.  Double points if you have ever broken a windshield because you mis‐measured.

You understand why two ladies in full Elizabethan can’t share the back seat of a small car.

You have ever ridden a motorcycle in armor.  Double points if you ever fell off your motorcycle, and you caused more sparks than the skidding bike did.

You can picture why it isn’t a good idea to ride a motorcycle fast with your Norman shield strapped to your back.

The last time someone asked you if you were in a play, you thought about throttling them.  Double points if someone asks you if you are in the SCA, and you automatically answer “No, I’m in a medieval reenactment group”.  Kudos to the SCA member who, when someone asked him if he was in the SCA, truthfully got to answer “No, I’m in a play!”.

The commanding general walks into the command center (during an exercise) and you (just barely) caught yourself before curtseying to him (while wearing BDU’s).

In court, you address the judge as “My lord” or “Your Excellency” instead of “Your Honor”.   

Your garb takes up more closet room than your mundane clothes do.  Since some garb is bulky, double points if you have more garb by count than you do mundane clothes.

If it’s a choice between new garb and food, you decide to go on a diet.

You have more knives and blades in the rest of the house than you do in the kitchen.    

When asked your religion, you state you are a practicing Merovingian. Or a Cathar, or Albegensian.

When you overhear a woman talking about a nice piece of male, you picture armor.

When you hear someone talking about a guy in chains, you picture armor.

When you hear the term “heavy metal” you picture head‐to‐toe mail or plate.  Double points if you didn’t have to think what I meant by plate.

When someone talks about a hard hat you picture a helmet.

When someone talks about a pointy hat you picture a crown, not a wizard’s hat

The tent you take camping cost more than a car payment. 

You ARE a reenactor if your tent cost more than a month of your rent or mortgage payments.

You have more stuff for your camp kitchen than you do for your mundane one.

You do more cooking over an open fire than a stove.

You understand why fire was one of the top 2 causes of death for medieval women.

Your neighbors ask you twice a year if you are moving, as you load and unload your Pennsic stuff into a huge truck.

You have ever had to explain the historical weapons in your car to a cop. Double points if you have ever had to declare historical weapons to a border guard.  Triple points if you recruited that cop or guard.

You have an armor stand or a mannequin in armor on display in your house.  Double points if you call the cops for some reason, and they almost shoot your mannequin. Triple points if they DID shoot your mannequin, and you have the bullet hole in your mail, breastplate, or helmet to prove it.

You have to check your luggage because you are taking a dagger or sword with you.  Double points if you get hassled checking this.  Triple points (and our deepest sympathy) if someone steals it from your luggage.

You have ever hand‐carried a gable headdress or other elaborate hat on the plane, rather than pack it.   Double points if you knew what I meant by gable headdress.  Triple points if you wore the hat at the airport or on the plane.

You have ever taken public transportation in garb.  Double points if it was on a plane.  Triple points if you have ever been part of a party, all in garb, meeting someone at the airport.

When people talk about rowing, or crewing, you picture a longship.

You once went sailing, and it was on a longship.  Double points if you own, or crew regularly on, a longship.  Triple points if you have hauled your longship to an event.  Quadruple points if you shipped it on a ship.  Quintuple points if the ship left your longship on the dock (it’s a long story…).

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